New Years’ Resolutions are for amateurs.
Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 1:54PM The regulars at a local bar my dad frequented used to quip, "New Years is for amateurs!" There’s a great truth in that.
These guys were professional drunks, not just weekend warriors or drinkers on occasion. What made them good at drinking was that they did it everyday. While they could barely hold a job, they could really hold their liquor. Likewise, New Years’ Resolutions are for amateurs, not for those with big dreams.
Resolutions alone don’t work anyway. Anyone who frequents a gym will see the “resolved“ crowds each January. By the end of January, the parking lots are back to normal and there’s no more active members than before. This happens every year because this only happens once every year. Sure, New Years is a great time to begin anew, but it’s what you do everyday that drives results.
"New Years’ Resolutions are for amateurs, not for those with big dreams."
Exercise must become “second nature,” as it is for the active members who have made the gym a central routine in their life. The difference is they don’t think, “Darn. I have to drag my ass to the gym again today.” Rather, they spontaneously think, “Great. I get to go to the gym now.”
There’s a great wisdom in this term "second nature," which has been lost. Most believe this to be the natural consequence of practice. Not so. Going to the gym everyday becomes “second nature” only if you engrain supporting beliefs. If you do not hold supporting beliefs, then going a few dozen times -- practice alone -- will change nothing, and it will take a supreme act of will to make it to the end of the month.
If it’s not sufficient to simply practice, then what do we do? Those of us who want to hold our resolutions must install supporting beliefs. Install beliefs?... Yes. Install them. New beliefs must be installed into your cyber self -- the “i robot” or “i Bot” that holds the collection of learned habits we call, "second nature."
Right now, you may find it second nature to go home each night and take a nap, spontaneously thinking, "Oh, I'm tired. I'll just go to the gym tomorrow." If that’s you, then the “you” that is comforting your candy ass and justifying your lack of action needs to be replaced by a “you” that doesn’t think that way. Your "second nature" needs an upgrade to version 2.0.
It is essential to understand that you are not the “you” that is sabotaging your resolutions. Nor are you the body, the physical expression or “print out” of your mind set and cumulative actions in the kitchen and the gym.
You are the awareness, the essence behind the “iBot;” the being that has a body and a bot. Your “iBot” is merely a collection of your spontaneous programming; the little “i” that was built upon belief, one limiting experience at a time, throughout your lifetime. So, if you've been looking for the sa-"bot"-teur of your New Years plans all these years, it's been there, right before your eyes, all along!
"Until you reset the autopilot, you will never change your destination."
Your current “iBot” is the “you” that exactly matches the results you’ve achieved in the past. It's not that you live in the past, but that the past lives in you. Awake!
To get different results, you need a different "you," the unconscious, spontaneous thinker that has yet to buy-in to those New Years resolutions of yours. It's like autopilot on a boat. Time after time you can you can reset your destination, but the boat just snaps back on course. Until you reset the autopilot, you will never change your destination. It's as simple as that.
It’s your unconscious programming that holds the real power, like the submerged portion of an iceberg. Yet -- just as though they were ice -- beliefs are frozen in form, and can only be chipped or melted away as new beliefs are frozen in their place. With that understanding, let’s call this cyber self, this "i-bot" our “Ice Bot” to denote both its massively submerged and stubbornly frozen, yet mendable nature.
It is the Icebot that walks, talks, and expresses "you" automatically, just as it was trained to do. It imposes limits on everything outside its comfort zone by its reaction and performance.
You are the big “I” imposing dramatic change on the walking and talking planned for the new year, and the one who stands in horror as “you” react or perform badly. An Icebot always resists change. It doesn’t know or care about what big “I” says or accomplishes; it’s just the autopilot! And while big "I" has the brains, this little "i" asshole holds all the power. In effect, it's as though your puppet has come to life and you've lost control of the show!
"It's as though your puppet has come to life and you've lost control of the show!"
In the Power of Now, Echart Tolle recalls the moment of his profound breaktrough when he screamed, "I can’t live with myself any longer," but suddenly realized there were two here— the “I” and the "self" he couldn't live with. This "self" is your second nature or icebot, a collection of operating habits forzen into form. Thankfully, habits are like software and can be re-formed.
The key to upgrading your "second nature" is the bombard it with everyday affirmations. Affirmations are replacement beliefs carefully designed to support your desired performance. Installing the right reasons to go the gym -- and anything else you set out to accomplish-- is the basis of a simple, sustainable system for continuous improvement.
I have to say that I found affirmations to be silly and had no idea why they kept showing up in all kinds of writings, especially in “self help” books. They seemed useless -- like ammo without a gun -- until I learned the power and promise of installing new beliefs. Was I supposed to stand in front of mirror a say this silly stuff?! Well, yes, but then it didn't seem so silly once I realized what was going on here.
You are not talking to yourself. Rather, you are talking to your cyber self, the Icebot, and by all available means -- visual, audio, imaginative -- deliberately and methodically “re-forming” ineffective beliefs with new programming that works. Think of as the re-education of a bad robot. Every day; every way.... Frequency builds awareness. Before long, new beliefs will be iced in place of the old.
Soon, supporting beliefs will bubble up when it’s time to go workout. Where "you" used to think of yourself as “lazy,” your new spontaneous thoughts are nothing of the sort, “I’ve got a body made of steel. It’s an amazing machine that I love to put through its routine. It’s time again? Fantastic. I can’t wait to get to the gym!" Believe. You can.
Your spontaneous thoughts will change to whatever you sincerely and relentlessly affirm. Try it. Icebot doesn't care. Like a parrot, it will just repeat whatever it's trained to say. This is how you master your game. Master yourself.
At the end of one of his audio books, Jim Collins talks about his own New Years resolutions. Each year he comes up with three things he's going to start doing, three things he's going to stop doing, and three systems he's going to put in place to support these efforts. The brilliance is in the systems. It's the support systems that empower these new resolutions, never the goals on their own. Simple, sustainable systems.
So why wait for New Years to do an upgrade? Go for continuous improvement and let the results determine when it's time to add a new resolutions.
Life is short. Is that your legacy calling?
Reader Comments (2)
Here's an email I wrote to a friend. Much of this understanding was inspired by John Assaraf, founder of One Coach. Here's what I wrote a few years back:
John's book, the Street Kid, includes an extensive exercise to design your life. First, by uncovering your current beliefs -- based on the results you have (beliefs can't be seen, of course, so they must be inferred). Then, by designing the belief system necessary to produce the results you want and deserve. Finally, you must INSTALL these new beliefs, but how? Affirmation and visualization.
Goals alone may prove frustrating. Nothing really changes until you change your sense of deservingness and expectation, which naturally flows once your beliefs are aligned with the results your want. The challenge is to get your subconscious or, as I call it, "iBot" to buy-in. It's really that simple. But, how do you do that? Bombard it.
Remember worry is NEGATIVE affirmation and it works wonderfully! By bombarding your iBot -- often for years -- with negative limitations it now seems natural to go though life with the brakes on, avoiding any and all uncomfortable situations, all while choosing immediate gratifications over the life of your dreams.
Rather than be enslaved by worry, the trick is to instill POSITIVE affirmations through repetition and visualization. Then, within weeks your "chatter box" will be regurgitate the right thoughts in place of this non-sense. Keep in mind that most of us have had years of worry, limitations, and negativity, so don't expect an overnight shift. Here's how it's done.
Starting with your results/beliefs, write a script that fully and richly defines your new life. For example, "I am a money magnet. Everything I touch turns to gold. I'm smart. Persistent. Thoughtful. And I always follow though on my promises. My clients love me and they rave about my efforts. Blah, blah, blah." You get the idea. You, being a writer, can surely cook up a great 1-3 minute script. Next, record this script on tape or MP3 (Preferred).
Then, on a daily basis, or at least 5-10 times a week, play this over and over as you drift to sleep or as you awake in the morning, at least 12-20 minutes a day. I do this in the morning, while I'm still in that dream state and that seems to work for me. John plays his at the Gym, I believe, and no doubt has "Rocky" or some other inspiration music in background.
The key is to bombard the iBot with your new audio and visual reality. It doesn't know the difference, does it? In conjunction, John uses a Vision Board where he places pictures of his new jet, new home, new body, etc. He reviews these daily as well and, I suspect, mentally lusts for the rewards before his eyes. Finally, he does meditation (not necessarily in this order).
Now the test. Next time you find yourself in a predictably uncomfortable situation, or even hungry and faced with the delectable pastries at Starbucks, be amazed at the thoughts that "bubble up." No longer does your iBot deliver self-defeating justifications or negativity. Rather, your ibot (ego) will give you (your being) POSITIVE reinforcement, and it will be automatically. No "will power" required. Your "beliefs" will have shifted. Right actions will follow.
Try it. Keep at it. Let me know what you learn!
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